I haven't blogged for a while as I am sure some of you have noticed. There has been some things I have learned this past month. First off I think this economy has a lot of people down so I have two theory's that need to happen. Either A. The economy needs to pick up soon, or B. Christ needs to come now!
I had to drop a tool off to my husband at his construction site. The thought came to my mind, A woman walking into a construction site is like Daniel walking into a lions den. My advice to you women, stay away from construction sites unless you really want a raunchy self esteem boost. If you can even call it that. SCARY!
I have been wanting to put down things that I am grateful for because when I am down I need to be glad for the things all around me. First off as I am writing this I am thankful for my daughter Hannah who sings at the top of her little lungs to the song "Annie" " The sun will come out tomorrow".
I am grateful to have come here and received a body. For so long I guess I felt like I had to be perfect for myself. I set myself up for no room to fall. There was no room for mistakes or error. I beat myself up when I let others down, do something that I needed to do and couldn't. I have started to understand that no one is perfect. The only perfect one has been trying to grasp my hand and so many times I get close but feel like there are too many other people out there that need him and so I will be ok on my own. I want him to help the others because I would feel guilty for letting him help me and take up someone else's time. How sad is that? Am I the only one out there that felt that way? I need to realize we are human, mistakes make us better and I am only one person who can't please everyone, who can't do everything and I have to allow room for mistakes. I want my kids growing up and knowing that there are times when they are going to fall, and that is ok, it makes them human . I want my kids to know that Christ is there for them and loves them. I as their mother, had to realize that I Too was worth it. The sorrow I felt He has felt. That he really would have come here just for me. That I am a good person who has many talents to help people. If I can't help myself and let Christ into my life then how am I supposed to help others find him. So I am grateful that I can now see my value and love the woman I am.
I am grateful for the feelings of being human. I am grateful for the good and the bad emotions that I have felt in my life. Meaning, I am grateful for joy, excitement, sorrow, pain, pleasure, jealousy, anger, happiness, fear, courage, lust, love, hope, charity, and even faith. I am grateful for my kids who can wake me up in the wee hours of the morning, because I know I got to sleep in a safe environment. I am grateful to also know I have children that depend on me and love me. I am grateful for the times of sorrow and hurt, because it makes me know that I have felt joy and love to those around me. I am thankful for times of discouragement, so I can recognize the times of joy. I am thankful for the crappy car that I have that people can hear from miles away, because I know that I have a vehicle to get me places. I am grateful for this house, even if we did buy at the worst time right before the economy went down, because I get to be in a home. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve others because it makes me feel good to know there are people out there who need me. I am grateful for friends, neighbors, and family because I know they care about me as much as I care for all of them. I am thankful for trials hard or small because I know there is something I must learn from them. I don't agree with the quote " God won't give you anything you can't handle." well guess what it doesn't matter because either way you have no choice to deal with what your given. But I do agree with this quote " With God you can endure the things that are given to you" You, just as I am, are worth it. I like to think of before this life making promises that we could do what was needed in this life. We were excited for the chance to receive a body and we were excited to help others on our way. Sometimes we forget the real reason of being here, to help others along the way as the Savior did. He helped those that spit upon him, that cursed him, and who hated him. We also need to realize that even Christ himself was tempted. We will all have temptations and that doesn't make us in the wrong. It is giving into the temptations where we will lose ourselves. Christ never gave in. He did what was needed to do. He knows our pain no matter how small they may be to the world. I don't watch the news anymore because my soul can't handle the pain of the world, where children are hurting. Where parent's can't help their children, where there is so much hunger, war, and abuse out there. I honestly think we may had little glimpses of our life and we were willing to keep those promises to help others and to do what we needed to do in this life. I found this quote on my sister in law Sheryl's blog, I felt like it was put there just for me, and it fits to what I am trying to say: "Faith is something greater than ourselves that enables us to do what we have said we will do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is uncertain."
- Gordon B. Hinckley
I believe that even though I will go through some hard times in my life, that I can do what I need to do. I can look at each day at a time and be grateful for the little things that we miss because we are so "busy" with nothing that really matters. I like to think of myself of someone who would dive into the trenches to get the wounded soldiers out, dodging bullets in a spiritual sense. To help those who are "Wounded" without judgment, to get on our hands and knees and pick them up. We are tougher then we give ourselves credit. Hey lots of us are parents, we are dodging bullets everyday!! Give your children a hug, help a neighbor, realize your individual worth to yourself and to those all around you. You, yes you who is reading this, you are Loved.