I used to think how fun it would be to be lazy and watch tv all day long. I thought how fun it would be to be in a nursing home where everything was done for me. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I feel so helpless letting others help me, it has been very appreciated and humbling. I am scared for this next week. I know I shouldn't be but I am. On sat I was feeling ok so I went outside to sit on the porch. I was LONGING for visitors and I saw two little neighbor boys. I told them to come talk to me. (They are 4 and 2) and they only talked for a minute and I asked them if they had to leave already. They did. LOL I will be one of those old ladies who BEG for company when I am in the nursing home. It has made me realize that I need to visit others more often. No wonder they get all excited to see me even if they don't know me. It's someone. Today has been a gloomy day and Im starting to hurt a little more. Im surprised that it hasn't been as horrible as some other people I know so that is a blessing. I see how some of my kids are having a hard time and I feel guilty for not being able to help them. I need to stop feeling guilty I know. I heard you get the "surgical blues' like the baby blues and it's so funny that I get so weepy and then I start to laugh but can't cause then it hurts.Crazy what meds will do to a person.p.s thank goodness for spell check, I am typing with one hand.