This summer has been..pure.. (fill in the blank ) Maybe a little of both.. Bliss and Hell! I'm not talking about the weather either. However, that has been hotter than it! I think when we all go through this journey we call life, we have to go through the hell in order to become stronger. It's up to us. Some of us may just want to sit and not move, others are striving to do something. I think I have been too pessimistic, so I am going to talk about the GOOD things I have found this summer or have done.

#1- I realize how much I love my kids. I realize how mature I can be if I needed to ever take care of them for some reason or another. I realize my potential and I am doing something about it. Which leads me to #2.

#2. I am first and foremost my kids mom (wow, I am sounding like Dr.Laura and I have lost ALL respect for her.)but, I also know I need to do something for me. I have signed up for UVU and am going back to school!! I am ecstatic! I found out that I already have half of my credits I need for my associates and I can do it all online. Time to have the faith that I can do math again. (That's what is the scary part) which leads me to number 3.

#3. I realize that I can do hard things. If I put my mind and my God to it, I can do it. I decided that I am going to school, get my degree, then take a break and maybe do preschool again when Faith is four. At that point I am going to go to the U (plans may change) I really wanted the Y, but they don't offer the degree I am thinking about. I am going to be a child life specialist. I love kids, I love visiting hard places like Alzheimer's units and so on. I have to drag my husband to even set foot in a regular nursing home. I have always wanted to do something with the cancer patients, so I would love to be a child life specialist or similar and work with Life Threatening patients and their families. If plans change then I still may go for my Elem. Education or a Secular Education in History. We shall see. Speaking of History and learning..

#4- I LOVE history. I love learning of our forefathers, this country, the world, and the scriptures. I have heard of bible stories or read them, but never have I dug deep into the words. Thanks to taking a bible study of Esther with my friend, I bought the Institute manuals and am using it for the Book of Mormon. On the weekends I read the Old Testament with Trent and the manual. I love learning of religions and their history. It all comes together as a puzzle for me.

#5- I love people who are open in their lives. You never know the impact you may have had on one person or another because you were too scared to open up. I have been open and have made strong relationships that can't be broken. I am learning to see the woman they see through their eyes. Many times when I open up, I realize they too have been in my shoes and needed someone to talk to. I think this summer I have talked till I am blue in the face. I have realized there are people out there that do want to hurt me. If you are reading this and you are one of them, please don't ever contact me again. I am learning to let go, and not try to please everyone in life anymore. I have learned many great things through people in different situations. Some started out as strangers, turned into examples. I know I'm being vague, but the point is, I love people and their support. I am sure you know who you all are. There are so many examples I would like to give but I have promised to not share with anyone. Here is an example I can share. My new friend is 89 years old. She is a wonderful, Funny, loving woman who I look up to. She has been through hell and back. I look at her hands and her face, and while I see tired eyes, & wrinkly skin, for a minute two weeks ago that went away. Two of God's daughters sitting in the same room, age disappeared. We were friends. We understood each other. We didn't look at each other as young, or old. We looked at each other on the same levels. We were open, we were blunt, we were ready to give our all. I am grateful for that experience and I look forward to seeing her every week. I am grateful for my eyes to be open this summer, if for nothing but the experience to know I can love people of all ages and not let age affect the way I treat them.

I have learned a lot. I know now why I had the feeling I had last Christmas. My life is forever changed. Hopefully, all will be for the better.

The things we have done this summer with Trent gone is we had weddings. My niece Brittany got married to Jesse Turner (She has the best last name now!) My sister got married. My kids went camping with my family. They have had sleepovers and what we like to call (P Parties. Pizza, popcorn, pj's, pop) galore have gone through all my calendars over the years and finished my kids baby calendars, in the process of finishing their baby books, and scrapbooks to the age 5. I am doing it for my Celestial University and am thankful for the nudge to do it! Finally, before I forget I can put it all down in a book.

Summer has faded so FAST. Some of my goals have gone, replaced with better, stronger ones. I love my family. I am taking the time to enjoy it before all the summers where they are young are gone.

I have enjoyed snuggling with each of my kids. Hearing their prayers. I had the opportunity to see their talents. Last night it was storming really bad, and Hannah came into my bedroom. I wanted to stand on the bed and wrap around the curtains and start singing with her. "When the Dog bites..." right out of a movie. I have enjoyed the little funny things they do and say. Austin said yesterday " Mom where is the Jell o for my hair?" I said, " You mean the Jel?"

(for some reason the pictures aren't loading. I will load them later.)